New Years Eve

With Xmas over I can now turn my attention to " how not to celebrate the new year". As last week my only concession will be an increase in the quality and quantity of the food and wine consumed.

I had a close escape from attending a party night at a neighbours house, which having accepted in a moment of weakness, I then found that I had to concoct an elaborate subterfuge to evade it. They had asked to borrow a mobile heater, so the youngest boy and I had popped round to deliver it and take a post Xmas drink with them. The neighbours have all their children and grandchildren coming for the New Year, his from Spain and hers from Belgium and they were a bit upset to find the boy and I would be celebrating it on our own. So they invited us to join them

After we'd accepted we found out that not only were there no English speakers amongst the other guests but most of the Belgians and some of the Spanish didn't speak French either. My french is just not good enough to extract us from this situation without causing offence. So we withdrew to consider our options.

I came up with a "Jolly Wheeze" ( this is something dated back to my former work place, where if there was a problem it would usually be me that came up with the solution, which I would announce by saying "I've got this Jolly Wheeze"). The boy was to go down with the flu.

So I contrived to meet up with the neighbours yesterday when they were on their evening walk with their dog. I laid it on very thick about Andrew being ill, in bed all day with a high temperature, adding it was unlikely we would be able to make it tomorrow (today). I even made up a story that when taking his temperature I had realised that I was using the thermometer normally reserved for the DOG (and you know where they insert those!). When he found out he leaped out of bed,rushed to the bathroom and made prodigious use of the mouthwash; much laughter all round but a complete and utter fabrication.

I met her again this morning on her way to the shop and confirmed Andrew would not be fit enough and I couldn't, in all fairness, leave him alone tonight. She told me that Jean-Claude was still in bed and couldn't assist in the shopping as he had a terrible cold and fever.

Back home I repeated this to Andrew who said "Lying Bastard, he's just trying to get out of the shopping!"