Monday, February 25, 2008

Fat Old Fart (Weekly Bulletin)

92.3 Another disasterous week ! Up half a kilo AGAIN!

I spent a couple of days in Bordeaux last week,self-indulging on Paté, Steak and Chips and Goats Cheese, all washed down with St Emilion and breakfasting on copious "petits viennois"

The reason for visiting was to watch the "Girondins" play football in the EUFA Cup. I didn't make all the fuss I did in going to watch Toulouse before Xmas. I just went to the ticket agency in the local hyper market and got a match ticket and booked a hotel on the internet and it all went perfectly. Except that Bordeaux lost the game and were elimunated from the competition.

The first game I went to, Toulouse lost and were eliminated and now Bordeaux; I'm begining to think I might be bit of a JINX. There's only one French team left in the competition and that's Marseille, lucky for them they are just too far away for me to go to their next game.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Global Warming

It may have been noticed that I flit back and forward to the UK fairly frequently. These days I allways use one of the budget airlines because these are so easily available and cheap. Previously I travelled by car and ferry.

Envirementalists probably would frown on my current contribution to Global Warming, but they don't know the half of it.

This largely unknown area of France centres on the town of Tarbes, which prides itself on two local products. One is the black pig, which is a bit like those asian pot-bellied pigs, the other is "Tarbaise" beans. This latter is a large white haricot bean which is prepared with carrots and a light tomatoe sauce and preserved in goose greese (I shall try to append the actual recipe later).
Unfortuneately, as with everything these days, a cheaper supply is taking over and they are now being shipped in from Argentina. Lower in cost but at the expense of considerable air or sea miles which contributes to Global Warming !

I share part of the guilt by eating these things, with great relish, this I have to conceed to the environmentalists; but they dont know the half of it!

These beans have a serious effect on my digestive tract, seemingly much worse than any other type of bean, causing copious amounts of pungent methane gas to be ejected, Which is probably a greater threat to the ozone layer than all the air/sea miles racked up in getting the raw materials to my plate.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Fat Old Fart (weekly bulletin)

91.7 ! OOPS! A gain of half a kilo!

Bit of a hiccup, but to be expected as I've been back in the UK for a few days, enjoying an orgy of gluttony and self-indulgence. No salatious revelations I'm afraid, merely a confession of swilling copious amounts of Courage Directors Bitter and Pub Food in and around the beautiful county of Kent.

Because of the drink/drive laws Country Pubs tend more and more to concetrate on food and some we tried were of this new breed of "Gastro-Pubs", which serve up-market trendy restaurant style food. Here follows a guide for your average Townie, who might venture into the green belt or further, in search of sustinance on how to recognise a "Gastro-Pub":-

(1) They are surround by at least an acre of neatly marked out asphalt

(2) Starters cost from £8.95 and main courses £14.95. I think the .95 is key here but further research is necessary.

(3) Instead of chips being scooped onto your plate, 4 chips are laid neatly side by side and then another 4 laid neatly at right angles on top of these and then another 4 in the same direction as the bottom layer

Monday, February 4, 2008

Fat Old Fart (weekly bulletin)

91.2, WHAT A RESULT ! But is it too good to be true?

Last week-end I splashed out 10 euros on a state of the art, high tech. digital weighing machine (made in china of course!) and by coincidence have lost more than 2 kilos in the same week. I don't trust all this new technology and refuse to own even a mobile phone,although this is on the basis that I refuse to put my glasses on to answer the phone.

The other day a woman from the health insurance company phoned to check a few details, including my mobile phone number; when I said that I didn't own one she said I must be the only person in the world not to have one. Being french she didn't just say world (monde) she said "monde entire" (the whole world); they can't resist a bit of drama!