A clear water revival, that's what the organisers of the tour de france had been hoping for when they test the riders samples. As in 1998 and again last year, this year the tour again ends amidst embarrassing scandal, positive drug test and confessions of corruption.
Again the designer drug EPO has been found in team wide abuse. I think it safe to say that the first sportsmen to shave their heads were the cyclists, they had long depilated body hair. Some say to reduce wind resistance, some that smooth, bronzed, muscular legs are a real turn on for the ladies, others of a slightly more cynical nature, knowing that the best test for EPO measures irregular growth patterns in the hair, wonder just how long EPO has been around !
However some sort of macho vanity precludes the depilation of the pubic region and this is how the Gendarmes get them, by the short and curlies one might say ! Can you imagine a suspect rider, standing in a dank, dark cell with his lycras round his ankles, faced by 5 burly Gendarmes all brandishing the wifes borrowed eyebrow tweasers, of course they are going to confess.
It's common knowledge that no Gendarme leaves home on the morning the tour is passing through his patch without borrowing the wifes eyebrow tweasers in the hope of making a significant and promotion earning arrest. They obviously don't tell the wife exactly what or where they intend to probe with her tweasers and this is leading some of the wives to question what is going on down at the station, that an otherwise exemplary husband needs to pluck his eyebrows for.
I understand the powers that be are considering offering counselling !!!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The tour de farce
The first lot of grandchildren left today and I've 3 days till the second and much bigger bunch arrive.
We did have the tour pass through our village on the day it was dubbed the tour de farce, because of all the drug taking. Double farce for me; I had planned a TV appearance, the juxtaposition of the road and my garden would be exactly right to be face on to the helicopter camera ! I had both my not very legal UK TV system and the French one set to record and as the eye in the sky followed the main bunch towards me I stepped forward, with a cherry wave, at that instant the bloody machine veared off down into the valley to join the leading group ! Foiled!
The racers always work this very transparent ruse, for the first part of the days stage a few (but never a rider who might stand a chance of gaining the lead) are allowed to build up a substantial lead. During the latter part of the stage the pellaton (main bunch) push to catch up, creating considerable tension and excited full pitch commentary and coincidently all finish together !
They are probably a bit more blassée in the big towns but out here it is made into quite an event, a buvette (portable bar) was set up outside the town hall and a B-B-Q organised in a nearby field and of course the roads are closed hours beforehand.
I was quite surprised, on taking the dog for it's morning walk, to see at least 4 camper vans parked on the green across the road, the greenis no bigger than an average municipal bowling green. Given that the riders pass a given spot at 40 kph (drug assisted!), they are through in seconds, so these happy campers spend their 3 weeks hols
We did have the tour pass through our village on the day it was dubbed the tour de farce, because of all the drug taking. Double farce for me; I had planned a TV appearance, the juxtaposition of the road and my garden would be exactly right to be face on to the helicopter camera ! I had both my not very legal UK TV system and the French one set to record and as the eye in the sky followed the main bunch towards me I stepped forward, with a cherry wave, at that instant the bloody machine veared off down into the valley to join the leading group ! Foiled!
The racers always work this very transparent ruse, for the first part of the days stage a few (but never a rider who might stand a chance of gaining the lead) are allowed to build up a substantial lead. During the latter part of the stage the pellaton (main bunch) push to catch up, creating considerable tension and excited full pitch commentary and coincidently all finish together !
They are probably a bit more blassée in the big towns but out here it is made into quite an event, a buvette (portable bar) was set up outside the town hall and a B-B-Q organised in a nearby field and of course the roads are closed hours beforehand.
I was quite surprised, on taking the dog for it's morning walk, to see at least 4 camper vans parked on the green across the road, the greenis no bigger than an average municipal bowling green. Given that the riders pass a given spot at 40 kph (drug assisted!), they are through in seconds, so these happy campers spend their 3 weeks hols
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