DONT PANIC

Dont panic?? Well I am, it's about 10 days until the first batch of the family arrive for their summer holidays and I've not even started on the preparations, let alone the spring cleaning. You might think that "what does all that matter", it's only family after all. But it does to me because I know when they get home the inter-familial phone lines will be buzzing with " I told you the old fart wouldn't cope on his own.

Perhaps I should get a char lady (and the current local rate is only 8 euros an hour) but to me it's an admission of failure, so I'd rather live in shit most of the time and work my bollocks off, cleaning up , just before people arrive. Anyway it's much worse this year than ever before because me and the youngest boy have spent the winter sanding down and painting newly created ceilings in 3 new rooms in the loft. The dust is everywhere, and he's pissed off to spain for the summer!!

I had resovled to start on monday (it's thursday nite now) and did make a start by checking the water in the swimming pool, although it's been on automatic all winter/spring there was a worrying hint of green about the water. Fuffing and farting about with various tests I've had to conceed that the pump is fucked and a new one needs to be ordered, it's debatable whether this will arrive in time.

Green water could be the least of their problems, when they arrive, because I've always kept the B-B-Que in the barn as the only place that's always shaded from the sun (which can be extreme down here) but this year a pair of birds have nested in it- so B-B-Ques are off for the summer, as well as swimming!

For me the best thing about summer is that I pay for all their air fares out here, there's my 3 boys and their partners, the seven grandchildren, two of whom are old enough to have their own partners and also have produced the 2 great grandchildren. At a rough count thats 17 bodies I'm paying for this year.

Expensive? Yes! but I pay for their trips out on the basis that it's in lieu of their birthday and xmas presents. Can you see what a wonderful wheeze this is ; it means I don't have to worry about having to THINK about what present to buy for birthday or Xmas 34 times.