Lunch

I've been over here, on my own, for some years now and am really getting into the french way of lunch.

Within easy reach there are pushing a dozen restaurants with a Menu du Jour at between 10/13 euros, thats £7 to £9 in english and is a four course meal with wine included. In most parts of provincial france most restaurants have a space with small tables laid out for one, this is generally known as "old farts corner", it's where they feed the lonely and the useless.

Personally, I prefer to ring the changes and visit a couple of different corners each week, but generally little social clubs build up amongst the regulars, many old farts eating at the same place every day or I should say every WEEK-day because from friday night through the week-end the single tables are pushed together for the more lucrative friends, lovers and familly trade: we old farts are on our own then (a bit like meals-on-wheels in the UK I suppose!).

I do have a favourite, where I eat quite regularily and although not a fully fledged member of the club am greeted with hand shakes and Ca va?s. But recently the corner has been thrown into utter confusion and panic; our old fart space has been invaded by a comely lady, albeit of a somewhat indeterminate age. Now whilst the old farts are not above flirting with the pretty young waitresses this is an entirely different and very threatening developement. They,as one, decide to counter this threat in tipically french style, they all turn up an hour later.

Unaware of the subtle nuances in play, I arrive at my normal time to find the corner deserted except for the said comely lady. Discreetly positioning myself one table away, I took my seat (this is not a french thing, they would instinctively take the next seat,not seeming to need defendable space like us). Soon to find that she's asking me a question and it's something about "Le Retro". There is much french slang that abbreviates a word to end in "O" for example, "frigo"=refrigerateur and "veto"= veterinaire; so retro? For the moment I can't think but suddenly it clicks !

All french provincial towns have what seems to us to be a throw back to earlier more romantic times... afternoon tea dances!!! These are invariably held in a hall called "Le Retro" So she's asking me if I'm going to the local tea dance; not wanting to cause any undue offence I answered in complete honesty that I don't dance because I've got two left feet. To confirm this unusual deformity she lifted up the table cloth and peered underneath

I found out later that I should have said "I dance like a duck"....viva la différance!